just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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