But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
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My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
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Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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