how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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