I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You've changed since you got that strap on
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize