Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
