I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize