I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
