i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
