I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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