Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
