I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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