before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize