Don't make out with my wife yet
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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