i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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