did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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