thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
