its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
