I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
