She is in my trunk
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
