Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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