i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
