Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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