her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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