somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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