I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
