her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize