He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The beer is more important than you right now.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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