I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
