I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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