The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
