Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
