Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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