id be glad to
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
