my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
