My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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