i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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