Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
