i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
if only i could text you this smell
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
