I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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