I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
3 2 1 whiskey
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
