Say something about gay babies.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
