I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
