Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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