I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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