it's like iHOP with fire
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
