I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
