can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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