belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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