I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
