I wish i was in the wii world.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
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Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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