all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
