I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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