Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
