Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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