That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Can Purell be used as lube?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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