for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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