ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Are we still banned from the library?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
